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Two Cultures, Slowly Uniting In Matrimony
Sue Harmon, who started helping out with the baraat jobs about a year ago, prefers them to driving carriages for mainstream American weddings because "there are so many neat customs, like the way they put these special drops on the corner of the groom's eyes . . . or the swords the Sikhs carry or the boy that rides on the horse with the groom. Each one has its own meaning, and I feel like I learn something new every time." (The drops are supposed to ward off evil; the small ceremonial sword, or kirpan, is a requirement for initiated Sikhs, who are members of a religion founded in northern India; the boy serves as an attendant.)
For sheer diversity of experience, though, it's hard to beat Darla Cisek, 53, a Potomac photographer whose client base includes couples from 15 nations. Each requires a different approach.
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Two Cultures, Slowly Uniting In Matrimony Industry woos Asian weddings even as U.S. reshapes them. |
At Filipino weddings, Cisek is careful to get almost as many photographs of the couple's ninong and ninang -- godparent-like figures -- as she takes of the parents.
For Muslim weddings at which male and female guests celebrate in separate rooms, Cisek dons modest long sleeves and skirts. And she uses only women to process the photos because it would be improper for men who are not related to the female guests to look at them.
Cisek has also learned never to suggest that a Nigerian woman put down her purse for a formal group shot. "A lot of times the purse is considered an essential part of the outfit, along with matching shoes and these fabulous, enormous head wraps," she explained.
And extra batteries are a must for Hindu ceremonies -- they can stretch on for hours, with dozens of rituals, from the milni, during which the couple's families exchange garlands to cement their union, to the madhuparka, in which the groom's feet are washed to purify him and he is offered honey and milk to fortify him for his wedding night, to the saptapadi, in which the groom helps the bride touch seven betel nuts with her right toe -- a conduit for one of the chakras of energy -- while they recite seven vows.
Cisek said she occasionally finds that she is more familiar with the customs involved than her clients. "After about the second or third generation, a lot of people just lose the traditions," she said.
Recently, a Chinese American bride was about to order black covers for her photo albums until Cisek warned her that in some Chinese traditions that color is associated with death.
South Asian vendors, meanwhile, are increasingly hearing from non-South Asian couples who want to borrow their customs.
Caucasian couples who came across photos of Sood's creations in the Foxchase Manor gallery have asked her to decorate their weddings in the same shades of maroon and gold. She's even draped a mandap -- the wedding canopy -- with kente cloth for an African couple.
For a Thai American couple, Priti Verma, 44, a McLean decorator, created a modified Indian doli, or one-person carriage in which the groom's family carries off the bride. And both designers have created "mogul"-style mandaps with arches and domes for Iranians who want to evoke the canopy under which the sofreh aghd, or spread of symbolic foods, is often placed in a Persian wedding.
By contrast, South Asian couples who once counted on South Asian vendors to provide authenticity are now seeking their help to modernize. "Growing up in our mixed-race society has definitely opened this generation's minds," said Aradhana Luthra, 37, of the Clifton-based As U Wish decoration company. "They don't just want to hold the classic ceremony at the temple. They want to play around with things, to think outside of the box."
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